Designed especially for men who don’t take life too seriously, these aren’t just your average beach towels—they’re full-blown conversation starters. Whether you’re heading on holiday, hitting a festival, or just claiming your patch by the pool, our novelty beach towels are guaranteed to turn heads.

Looking for a men’s beach towel that actually says something about you? We’ve got rude ones, cool ones, and towels that’ll have your mates laughing all the way to the shoreline. From sarcastic slogans to brilliantly bold prints, there’s something for every bloke who likes his beach game with a bit of banter.

Why Choose Our Cool & Rude Beach Towels?

Let’s face it—most towels are boring. Ours aren’t. Whether you’re lounging in Lanzarote or drying off after a dip in Dorset, our cool beach towels combine proper absorbency with personality. Each one is printed with high-quality, vivid designs that won’t fade after a few washes. They’re made to be shown off, not left behind in a hotel bathroom.

Here’s why blokes are snapping these up faster than a deckchair in the sun:

• Generously sized for actual adult humans—no tiny towels here

• Eye-catching prints that stand out on even the busiest beaches

• Cheeky, rude beach towel designs for those who love a bit of mischief

• Soft, durable material that’s made for comfort and laughs

• Lightweight enough to chuck in your beach bag or suitcase without taking up loads of space

Whether you’re a bloke buying for yourself, or someone looking for a genuinely funny gift, these towels are the kind of novelty item that actually gets used.

Best-Selling Funny Designs

We’re always adding new designs, but here are some favourites flying out faster than flip-flops in a heatwave:

• “I Have Pissed In The Pool” – this may, or may not, amuse fellow holiday-goers!

• “Tortilla Wrap” – for the man who sees himself wrapped up like a Mexican snack.

• “Ginger Hiding From The Sun – Back Soon” – perfect for the ginger fellas amongst you.

• “Football Beach Towels” – a range of football team beach towels to show your allegiance abroad.

• “Golf Beach Towels” – for the bloke who’s loving his golf whilst on holiday.

Got a sense of humour and no time for bland beachwear? You’re our kind of customer.

Ideal for Holidays, Stag Dos, Festivals and Funny Gifts

Our towels make brilliant gifts for birthdays, Father’s Day, or your mate’s stag do abroad. They’re also just a solid upgrade for your summer suitcase. Heading to Ibiza with the lads? Pack one of these. Beach break with the family? Show the kids what real style looks like. Festival weekend? Trust us, you’ll need a towel, and you might as well make it a good one.

They also make for perfect surprise gifts. Don’t be shocked if it becomes his go-to towel at home too.

Why Buy Novelty Beach Towels from Blokey.co.uk?

At Blokey, we don’t do boring. Every towel in our range is designed in the UK with proper British humour and a keen eye for bloke-friendly design. We’re proud to make gifts that blokes actually want, and these towels are no exception.

• Unique and funny towel designs you won’t find on the high street

• Proper size and comfort – made for men

• Fast, reliable UK delivery

• Easy checkout and excellent customer service

• Ideal gift for birthdays, Father’s Day, stag parties and holidays

Funny Beach Towels for Lads Who Like a Laugh

Ready to upgrade your summer kit? Whether it’s a men’s beach towel that makes people snort their sangria or a rude beach towel that gets more likes than your holiday snaps, you’ll find it right here. Grab a towel that matches your vibe, and make sure your spot by the sea is the funniest one going.

👙 Shop funny beach towels now at Blokey – because beach days are better with a bit of banter.