Millions of people do it every day, but does anyone know anybody who actually enjoys working in an office every day Monday to Friday, it’s so dull.
Here’s my reasons why office workers have the crapest environment to spend their 40 hours a week.
You’re effectively selling your time when you work in an office. The company owners hire you to sit at a desk and perform duties during a set time period, just like seals do at Sea World, except they get paid in fish, you get an electronic credit to your bank account every 30 days, oh and they can’t go home at night, other than that you are a performing seal.
If you’re start time is 9am, no one says well done for getting in at 8.50am, yet wander in at 9.10am and it’s all eyes on you, with everyone expecting a good explanation. If like me you work in Central London, the usual raising of the eye-brows and saying “bloody trains” will leave everyone thinking who else travels on the same line as me, and if they made it in or not. Some offices even dictate when you can eat your lunch, just like the performing seals, you’ll eat when you’re told you can, and you’ll probably not be paid for having to sit in the kitchen for an hour.
Again, when it’s time to go home, leave 2 minutes before time to a chorus of “Is it half day today?” yet leave 2 hours late and there will be no comment at all.
As well as being told where to be at a set time, what time you should eat, and what time you may leave, office workers also get told what to wear. It’s also part of your contract, gents must wear a neck-tie and suit etc etc. The thing is, who the hell wants to wear this crap ? It’s like someone says to you, sit there at that wooden desk, stare at a screen, no one will ever see you, but you must wear the most uncomfortable clothes possible whilst doing this.
If it’s summer, and in the UK we only have Summer for 5 days a year, then you must still wear jacket and tie, and you’re not allowed to open the window as the street noise upsets the female seals, who are allowed to wear flip-flops, shorts and vest.
At least seals get a nice refreshing dip to cool off, and no one tells them what to wear.
To make matters worse, the dictators tell you that you’ve got to spend your wages on these clothes, clothes that you wouldn’t wear at home. If I’m painting at home, I’ll wear suitable clothes. If I’m sitting at a desk all day, I need jeans trainers and t-shirt, not further restrictions. And don’t try to fob me off with dress-down Friday, if I can wear jeans on a Friday, what is wrong with Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday ?
Every office is chock full of people you didn’t ask to spend most of your week with, and there is always some dickhead who gets on your moobs.
They plonk these idiots around everywhere, and it can be easily avoided by offering a better salary in the first place. If your company is in London, and you advertise a job for £20k you’re asking for trouble. By the time they’ve paid their travel you’re looking at a few hundred quid a week after tax. Probably just enough to cover a mortgage payment and buy yourself some lunch these days. Therefore you get idiots. Plebs that take the job because they are either too stupid, too young or too good for McDonald’s.
The seals don’t get a choice who they perform with either, and there is always one who just can’t be bothered to jump the hoop. You end up spending 40-50 hours a week with these people, in contrast, you probably spend less than 40 hours a week awake and talking to your family, how wrong is that ?
These are just designed by people who want to feel important, and not actually do any meaningful work.
Meetings are where the office workers sit around a room, discussing what should be done, usually what should be done by other people. Instead of working for an hour or two, they’ll sit around a big table chatting about things that have happened, or things that they’d like to happen. Usually what you can organise in a 5 minute chat, is dragged out over a two hour period including silly things like “brainstorming”.
Seals don’t have meetings, at least I don’t think they do. They have training sessions where they are helped to do their jobs perfectly. Office workers get handed a job description and get told to get on with it.
I have typed every word of this whilst pretending to work in an office….. I’m hot and uncomfortable, and bored.